Warrior Princess

June 24, 2015

Trajectory

Filed under: Uncategorized — ggirl @ 12:10 pm

 

close up of wolf face“Life calls the tune, we dance.” ~ John Galsworthy

The days are long and treacherous, interrupted from time to time with thoughts of “the trajectory of my life.”  I even mentioned it to my psychiatrist recently.  She had no idea what I was talking about.  And, really, neither do I.

The word “trajectory” implies a pattern, an arc, a rising and falling.  My life has contained a slight uptick in events.  From horrific to extremely unpleasant, a state of being I came to  view as a victory over fate.  Yay! Massive unpleasantness–what a relief!

Indeed, I’ve triumphed, or escaped the dark hand of fate risen from genetic potentialities and the hard glaze of barren sustenance in my early years.

But mainly it’s a flat line.  I spend my death-directed days and hours exactly as it should be.  It’s all darkness and, these days, despair.  I have found no deliverance.  How could I be surprised?

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